Holehearted or Wholehearted

Can Jesus Christ see the agony of His soul in us? He can't unless we are so closely identified with Him that we have His view concerning the people for whom we pray. May we learn to intercede so wholeheartedly that Jesus Christ will be completely and overwhelmingly satisfied with us as intercessors.  Oswald Chambers

Are you holehearted or wholehearted?  For many years I was holehearted and there are still times when I revert back to being holehearted.  Holehearted means we allow shame, and fear to run our life.  This means there is a hole in the very heart that keeps our body running.  To many times I think we let the world determine how our heart works.  It is all based on what we feel our worth is to others.

There are times when I have based my worth on what someone else thinks of me.  What I have noticed is that when I base my worth on what someone else thinks, shame and fear are not far behind. In fact, shame is made up of fear.  We fear that someone will not like us if they know the truth about us. How will I ever live up to the expectation of the other person? 

How can we learn how to be wholehearted?  We have to cultivate courage, compassion and connection.  In Brene Brown’s book called “The Gifts of Imperfection” she talks about these three things.  For a person to be wholehearted they need courage to stand up and be vulnerable.  Have you noticed how many of us hate being vulnerable?  Who wants to be vulnerable when we often know there will be someone out there who will hurt us in or during our most vulnerable moments?  It is a scary thing to become vulnerable to others.  When we are at our weakest there is often someone who is struggling with being wholehearted and steps on your vulnerable self. 

Several years ago I was writing this devotional and one of the individuals who was reading them contacted me by email.  She told me in her email that I was not living according to God’s Word and that she couldn’t and didn’t want to receive any more devotionals until I was right in God’s eyes so she asked me to remove her from my email list. 

I was devastated. My unworthiness was showcased.  I beat myself up for days afterwards because doubt set in and I thought; you know she could be right.  I am not a theologian and have not formally studied in a college about the Bible, so how do I think I can qualify to tell others about who God is. The thing I forgot was that the last time I checked; God loves me as a sinner.  He sent His only Son to die on a cross for me. The other thing I thought was “is this person who is telling me she can’t read my devotionals because of my “imperfection”; “perfect”? 

   

There have been times over the past few years that I have considered not writing the devotional anymore.  Insecurity and worthlessness overtake me during those times, but when I start feeling that way I start praying and turn to God.  I usually will call or email a friend who loves me unconditionally, knows I am not perfect and will ask the tough questions and be honest with me.  If we can’t be vulnerable with others we will never move toward compassion and connection.  In order for me to become wholehearted I need to understand that God created me and loves me.  I need to look at myself through the eyes of Jesus because only then will I be transformed and understand my true worth.

Prayer for the Day: Heavenly Father, there are times when I get so discouraged in trying to share Your message.  I don’t always do a great job at it, but You know and understand my thoughts and concerns.  Thank You for lifting me up when discouragement overtakes me.  I also praise You for bringing people into my life who help me to understand that I am worthy and give me encouragement to continue what I believe You call me to do.  

Scripture:  For Sing to the Lord, all the earth; proclaim the good news of His salvation from day to day. Declare His glory among the nations, His wonders among all peoples. 1 Chronicles 16:23-24

Purpose of the Mystery

To me, who am less than the least of all the saints, this grace was given, that I should preach among the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make all see what is the fellowship of the mystery, which from the beginning of the ages has been hidden in God who created all things through Jesus Christ; to the intent that now the manifold wisdom of God might be made known by the church to the principalities and powers in the heavenly places, according to the eternal purpose which He accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through faith in Him. Therefore I ask that you do not lose heart at my tribulations for you, which is your glory.

Appreciation of the Mystery

For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height—to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. Ephesians 3:8-21