A Silly Argument

One of the good things that come of a true marriage is, that there is one face on which changes come without your seeing them; or rather there is one face which you can still see the same, through all the shadows which years have gathered upon it.  George Macdonald

My husband and I had a silly argument yesterday.  This is a lesson in how most arguments are over stupid stuff. 

Jerry and I both work long hours so we hire a guy to mow our front lawn and because we have a dog, we mow the back lawn.  Yesterday I was driving toward our house on our street and I look up and see who I think is the guy who normally mows our lawn.  As I pass him it occurs to me that wouldn’t it be a nice surprise for Jerry if I make the arrangements and pay the guy to mow our lawn. 

So I get to the house and walk in and proceed to tell Jerry that I made arrangements for the guy to mow our lawn.  He looks at me and says, “What guy.”  I say, “The guy that is mowing the lawn down the street.”  He asks me “What is the guy driving?”  I look at him kind of funny and say “I think he is driving a white pickup with a trailer on the back.”  He tells me “That’s not the guy who normally mows our lawn.”  I say, “What difference does it make, I just thought I would surprise you by paying the guy to mow our lawn.”  Jerry then says “It’s not Friday”.   This conversation keeps going downhill faster than a boulder rolling down a mountain.

Jerry then says, “If we get this new guy to mow our lawn he will charge us $25 instead of the $20 we normally pay our regular guy then he will expect to mow our lawn every week.  Why should we pay this guy more than we pay our current guy?”  At this point I decide to cut my losses and say, “Since we are going out to dinner, we will just stop by the house where he is mowing and tell him we don’t need him to mow our lawn.”  Jerry replies, “We can’t do that because we already offered the guy the job.” 

As a sideline to this conversation Jerry says, “This guy won’t understand about the waters.”  For those of you who don’t know what that means, our current guy who mows our lawn, mows it for $20 and two cold waters.  We have a signal for our lawn guy.  Jerry hangs a sack with two waters on the tree in our front yard and our regular mowing guy knows that is the signal that he needs to mow our lawn.  Rather ingenious don’t you think.  

Finally we decide that we will drive by and tell the guy we don’t need him to mow our lawn.  The mowing guy probably was thinking, “I am so glad I am not mowing their lawn.  They’re crazy.  One minute the wife is slamming on the breaks and asking me to mow and the next they are driving back by and the husband is telling me they don’t need me to mow.  I wouldn’t mow their lawn if they paid me $100.”

We are driving to the restaurant to eat and I tell Jerry, “You know we really need to work on our communication skills.”  As we sat down to eat Jerry thanked me for being thoughtful and trying to make the arrangements.  I decided that I will not try to take care of the lawn in the future.  I will leave the guy stuff to the guy in our family. 

This is an example of how not to communicate.  God created each of us differently and especially when it comes to men and women.  How we resolve conflict in marriage can make the difference in a long and fruitful marriage or a tumultuous one.  If you break down most arguments between spouses the majority of things we argue over are silly.     

Prayer for the Day: Heavenly Father, I acted on impulse yesterday and it sort of backfired. It helps me to understand how my husband thinks because often that will help me to understand where he is coming from and issues between us will often be resolved without leading to conflict.  I praise You for giving me a husband who wants to take care of things and me.  The institution of marriage is a tricky one but can bring great happiness if handled properly.  Please continue to give me wisdom in my marriage.

Scripture:  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.  For we are members of His  body, of His flesh and of His bones.  “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:25-33