Gentleness  

Perhaps no grace is less prayed for, or less cultivated than gentleness.  Indeed it is considered rather as belonging to natural disposition or external manners, than as a Christian virtue; and seldom do we reflect that not to be gentle is sin.  George Bethune

Do you ever pray for gentleness?  There are times in my life when I just don’t have gentleness.  I think there are times when we don’t value gentleness as much as God does and therefore we don’t cultivate it in our lives.  The thing is gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit and should be pursued as much as kindness, love, joy, self-control….

Gentleness is often confused with meekness.  Meekness is another Christian trait but it is passive meaning that it should be our Christian response to those who mistreat us.  Gentleness is an active trait that concerns our treatment of others.  What happens with gentleness is that we are concerned with how we treat others and are understanding of their rights.

One of the personal examples I use to illustrate the opposite of gentleness is the manager I once had when I first started working.  I was fresh out of high school had started college.  I was working an internship for school and I was offered a better position that would enable me to gain additional knowledge in my chosen field.  I decided to turn in my resignation and when I did my manager told me quote “You will never amount to anything.” 

We often don’t think about how words affect those around us.  God continually shows us gentleness and he wants us to do the same for others.  Our tongues have a tendency to be our worst enemy.  We can do more damage with the things we say to each other than if we physically abused them. 

One of my favorite passages shows the very gentleness of Jesus.  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  Matthew 11:28-30.  I think these verses reflect the very peaceful and restful feeling others will feel around us when we practice gentleness, so they will understand what a loving God is all about.  Jesus offers rest because he is gentle and those who do not know Christ should feel the same gentleness around us.

Have you ever been around someone who breaks you down every time you see them?  You know those people who tell you they are outspoken and say whatever comes to mind without regard to the feelings of others and then they tell you that’s just the way they are.  Sometimes the only way we will show others Christ is to be gentle. 

Prayer for the Day: Heavenly Father, I am sometimes not gentle with others and I know this is a trait that is important as a Christian. I pray that you will remind me of the fruit of the Spirit called gentleness.  Help me to show others the gentleness You have shown me so that I can cultivate this in my everyday life.   

Scripture:   But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.  Galatians 5:22-26

My Father’s Eyes  

"People who tend to go after money as a solution for whatever they feel they lack had better be careful what they pray for, because they just may get it."– Eric Clapton

I listen to my iPod sometimes on my way to work.  Sometimes I will randomly select a song from my playlist.  I have a very eclectic list of music.  I love the saxophone and guitar.  I am often touched by music and it will often bring me to tears. 

One of my favorite songs is My Father’s Eyes by Eric Clapton.  This happened to be my choice of music this morning.  I find it interesting how someone will write a song that will mean different things to different people. 

In this instance the song that Eric Clapton wrote was about his own father whom he never met but I think influenced his many addictions and downhill spiral for many years.  He went through many tragedies including the death of his 4 year old son when he fell from a 53 story building. 

Isn’t it true that we often do our very best work during times of tragedy?  I think this happens because our hearts are at their most broken.  When we are being crushed by grief we are at our most vulnerable which allows us to see our Father's eyes.      

In this song he sings about his father.  What it reminds me of is my Heavenly Father.  The following are the lyrics to “My Father’s Eyes”.  In this song I feel the very presence of my Father in heaven who redeems, restores and loves.  I can’t wait to look into my Father’s eyes. I am waiting for the Prince to come. 

Sailing down behind the sun,
Waiting for my prince to come.
Praying for the healing rain
To restore my soul again.

Just a toe rag on the run.
How did I get here?
What have I done?
When will all my hopes arise?
How will I know him?
When I look in my father’s eyes.
My father’s eyes.
When I look in my father’s eyes.
My father’s eyes.

Then the light begins to shine
And I hear those ancient lullabies.
And as I watch this seedling grow,
Feel my heart start to overflow.

Where do I find the words to say?
How do I teach him?
What do we play?
Bit by bit, I’ve realized
That's when I need them,
That's when I need my father’s eyes.
My father’s eyes.
That's when I need my father’s eyes.
My father’s eyes.

Then the jagged edge appears
Through the distant clouds of tears.
I’m like a bridge that was washed away;
My foundations were made of clay.

As my soul slides down to die.
How could I lose him?
What did I try?
Bit by bit, I’ve realized
That he was here with me;
I looked into my father’s eyes.
My father’s eyes.
I looked into my father’s eyes.
My father’s eyes.

My father’s eyes.
My father’s eyes.
I looked into my father’s eyes.
My father’s eyes.   

My Father’s Eyes Lyrics by Eric Clapton

Prayer for the Day: Heavenly Father, thank you for touching my heart with music.  Sometimes I feel closest to you when I am listening to music and the lyrics written by musicians.  I praise you for blessing others with musical talents so that I can feel your presence through the music they create.  I praise You My Heavenly Father and Your Son who died for my sin. 

Scripture:   For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given; And the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Pride and Humility  

Cure yourself of the affliction of caring how you appear to others. Concern yourself only with how you appear before God, concern yourself only with the idea that God may have of you. ~Miguel De Unamuno

Here is yet another one of my struggles.  Pride and the belief that I contribute in some way to my abilities, gifts and the things that I have in this world.  Those are the days when I am full of myself and do something extraordinary in my own eyes.  I accomplish something even I didn’t think I could do and before I praise God for giving me the ability to accomplish the task I am already thinking about how great I am.

I have to come to the realization that I didn’t contribute anything to my salvation.  Jesus did all the work and it had nothing to do with my abilities, skills, education or how well I do something.

Have you ever compared yourself to other believers or un-believers?  It happens every day.  We look at other Christians or non-Christians and say I would never do that, or I devote this amount of time to church activities but they don’t. Everything we have comes from God and is to be used in serving Him.  All of the credit should go to God. 

We are to also submit to one another out of reverence to Christ.  (Ephesians 5:21)  This doesn’t mean always giving in to others’ demands or opinions.  It means to submit to Godly instruction and correction from other believers.  It means we must be teachable and humble enough to admit we are wrong when another believer corrects us.

I also struggle with tooting my own horn.  Telling others about all the good things I am doing for Christ or other people.  This doesn’t gain me anything except accolades here on earth.  If I receive the praise here on earth instead of God being glorified, I won’t receive the real blessing in heaven. 

Prayer for the Day: Heavenly Father, I often am so prideful that I want the praise of others.  I seek out recognition for the things I do when I should be seeking to glorify You.  I want to treat others with humility but pride often stands in the way.  Please help me to become the humble person You created me to be and to serve others with humility.    

Scripture:  So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments, and sat down again, He said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you?  You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am.  If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.  For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.  Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him.  If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.  John 13:12-17

 

Humility  

We come nearest to God when we are great in humility.

Have you ever considered the two words self-esteem and esteem.  In self-esteem we have an inordinately or exaggeratedly favorable impression of ourselves.  If we esteem we regard someone else highly or favorably.

There are nine traits that the apostle Paul calls the fruit of the Spirit.  It is impossible for us to cultivate the fruit of the Spirit without the key ingredient of humility.

Jesus was the best example of humility that we can emulate.  He was born into humble circumstances and into the most humble of places, a manger.  He was gentle and humble of heart and he served.  The promises of God toward those who are humble are that He will dwell with them and He will give them grace, lift them up, esteem them and exalt them.  We are to be humble in the midst of trials and humbly thankful for the blessings God gives us and we are to approach all relationships with humility.

When things are good in our lives we are to humbly receive these blessings from God.  When circumstances in our lives are difficult and people mistreat us we are to accept this humbly. 

In the past it was always hard for me to understand that our loving Father could allow bad things to happen.  What I learned through painful circumstances is that God loves me enough to allow these things to happen to make me a better person through circumstances and that it humbles me when I realize the work he is doing in me during those trying situations.

We humans have a tendency to lean toward selfish instead of selfless.  Most of the time when self gets involved we have a tendency to become selfish. Sometimes through God’s grace and mercy he will humble us through circumstances because He loves us and those are the times where we truly see humility.

Prayer for the Day: Heavenly Father, I want to have a humble heart.  I often struggle with the “me” thing.  I ask that when I get too involved with “me” that you drop some humility on “me”. 

Scripture:  Also He spoke this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others:  “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.  The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other men—extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector.  I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess.’  And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’ ¹⁴ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”  Luke 18:9-14

A Gentle Spirit  

The influence of the death of Jesus on this world's life is immeasurable. The cross is like a great heart of love beating at the center of the world, sending its pulsings of tenderness into all lands. The life of Christ beats in the hearts of his followers, and all who love him have something of his gentleness. The love of Jesus, kindles love in every believing heart. That is the lesson set for all of us in the New Testament. We are taught that we should love as Jesus loved, that we should be kind as he was kind, that his meekness, patience, thoughtfulness, selflessness, should be reproduced in us. J.R. Miller (A Gentle Heart)

I think one of the hardest things for us to understand is what it means to have a gentle spirit.  It is easier for women because we are emotional creatures. Many times we as women base our interactions on feelings and that is not always a good thing.  I think God made us to be nurturers so it is easier for us to show sympathy and empathy. 

My Dad and I were talking and I asked him “How do you heal the hurt?”  Then I said, “Not just a physical hurt but a heart hurt.”  He responded by saying that he didn’t know because men and women are different and he doesn’t look at it that way. 

Many times I think we look at the fruits of the Spirit and we see these as weaknesses not strengths. Gentleness of Spirit relates to the way we communicate with others. We are to choose our words wisely and speak with kindness.  It means we have to be approachable and diplomatic in our interactions with others.  We don’t lash out vengefully when we are hurt or treated unjustly.  We don’t start arguments or alienate people through attacking one another. 

Jesus was the best example of someone who had a gentle Spirit.  He embodied self-control, power and strength while always reflecting gentleness and meekness.  He humbled Himself to others.  We are called to pursue and model it and those who name Christ as their Savior are to wear it in our lives and to live our lives in such a way that it becomes obvious to others that we are indeed filled with a gentle Spirit. 

This one was a tough one for me to write because I don’t always reflect the gentle spirit I should to others.  Satan tempts me to be less than gentle with others and then I choose to reflect that less than noble character.  Notice that this is a choice on my part.   God allows me to choose the way I will be, but I can also choose to be different.         

Prayer for the Day: Heavenly Father, I want to live my life in such a way that others see a gentle Spirit in me.  You call me practice this in everything I do but I need Your help.  Please give me a gentle Spirit like Jesus reflected to everyone he met.  Thank You for having patience with me when I am less than what you want me to be.

Scripture:  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.  And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.  If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.  Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. Galatians 5:22-26

Considerate  

Considerate - showing kindly awareness or regard for another's feelings, circumstances, etc.

Being considerate of others will take your children further in life than any college degree. ~Marian Wright Edelman

Do you ever look back on how you have treated people in your past and become ashamed?  I always think of this as my before cancer and after cancer.  It is sad but many times it takes a crisis for us to wake up to those around us. 

My parents and I worked a farmer’s market this weekend and it was a true joy.  I normally work this market by myself or my husband will sometimes work it with me.  I have made many friends at this market and I am always excited to go back. 

Just when I start to think my actions and interactions with others don’t matter I go to one of these events and God reminds me of the importance of being considerate and compassionate to others.  There is my fellow cancer survivor John who I gave a candle to several years ago and always brings his wife and their two greyhounds to see me.  There are the Murdoch’s who always stop by for a visit.  They are an elderly couple who sing in their church choir and I have had the true pleasure of going to one of their concerts.  They sang all the old hymns that I enjoyed as a child.  There is my good friend Karen with whom I have a special bond that can only be described as a God connection.  Then there is Nancy the retired school teacher who has not missed a market yet.  This weekend we had a visit from a young woman I met several years ago whose sister lived in Australia and had cancer.  We had given her a candle to take to her sister.  She stopped by our booth to let us know her sister had passed away but she sent a gift to my Mom.  She told us about how she took care of her sister before she died and how much she loved the lavender and how much it calmed her.

If you ever think that no one is listening or observing what you are doing think again.  The vendor next to us at the market is a beautiful young woman name Dena.  As we were breaking down our booth she stepped over to our booth and asked if we were believers.  She had overheard our conversation with the Murdoch’s about them being in the choir.  They had brought us tickets to attend their Christmas choir event.  Dena and I talked at length about our Christian walk and how much our lives had changed because of the Lord.  We discussed how important it is to show non-believers what a true Christian is and that others are always watching. 

The Bible says that we are to show consideration to all—that means the homeless person on the street, the store clerk at the grocery store and individuals we work with who may not know God.  This list is endless.

Jesus was constantly in trouble with the Pharisees because He constantly broke away from their rigid traditions.  They were more concerned with whether it was lawful and not whether it was kind or reasonable.  Jesus was an expert on being considerate.    

Prayer for the Day: Heavenly Father, I want to be considerate of others and show them You through my actions.  I sometimes get impatient and am not as kind and considerate as I should be.  Help me to see others as You do.  I praise You for your compassion and considerateness toward me, a sinner who doesn’t deserve it.

Scripture:  Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.  Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7

But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. James 3:17

Gentleness  

The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change. Communication does not depend on syntax, or eloquence, or rhetoric, or articulation but on the emotional context in which the message is being heard. People can only hear you when they are moving toward you, and they are not likely to when your words are pursuing them. Even the choicest words lose their power when they are used to overpower.  Attitudes are the real figures of speech.  Edwin H. Friedman

Gentleness means recognizing that the world around us is fragile, especially other people. It is recognizing our own capacity to do harm and choosing instead to be tender, soft-spoken, soft-hearted, and careful. When we are gentle we touch the world in ways that protect and preserve it.  Wisdom Commons

I was thinking about the fruit of the Spirit and what it means to bear good fruit.  It made me think about the quince tree in my yard.  The interesting thing about my quince tree is that it produces a lot of fruit. 

My quince tree is rather large and it stands way above my fence.  My neighbor once commented to my husband that we had the most beautiful apple tree with the largest apples he had ever seen.  He wanted to walk over and pick a few.  The thing is a quince fruit looks like giant green apples. 

The problem with the fruit of a quince is that it is hard as a rock, weighs about as much as a brick and is impossible to cut with anything but a chainsaw.  Even the animals that climb our tree to try and eat it eventually give up.  The reason I know this is because when I pick them there will be teeth marks in the fruit but not much progress so I guess they eventually give up trying to eat it.  Also, when they fall from the tree they leave a dent in the ground.  I often pick them early so they don’t fall on my dog or my head when I am mowing. The quince looks great from the outside but is hard as rock on the inside.

This made me think of gentleness.  Gentleness means having a soft heart, one that cherishes others and treats others with kindness.  When Christians become gentle we actively seek to make others feel at ease in our presence.  It means we allow others to express their feelings and we are sensitive to their opinions and ideas.  This means we don’t try to make others feel guilty and we don’t break the hurting Christian.  We also don’t snuff out the spark in the immature Christian. 

Gentleness also respects the personal dignity of the other person.  It means we are sensitive to the reactions of others to our words.  There are times when it may be necessary for a Christian to wound with words, but it is always followed by words of encouragement.

I admit I have not always been a gentle Christian.  I have reacted badly in situations and interactions with others without gentleness.  This should be one of the spiritual traits that I pursue daily and it should be high on my list of priorities.  The thing is I will need God and the Holy Spirit to successfully produce this fruit in my life. 

Prayer for the Day: Heavenly Father, I want to be a gentle Christian, not only with other Christians but also with those who do not know You.  I pray that You will bring to my mind gentleness in my interactions with others so that they may see You in the things I say and do.                 

Scripture:   If anyone teaches otherwise and does not consent to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which accords with godliness, he is proud, knowing nothing, but is obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling, evil suspicions, useless wranglings of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. From such withdraw yourself. But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness. 1 Timothy 6:3-5 & 11